


All I every wanted was the truth-Infinity songfic

by Reading_nomatterwhat



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 10 Years Of One Direction, 1d 10 year anniversary, Also im manifesting this for Liams birthday, Angst, Can you tell?, Canon Compliant, I wrote this while upset about the anniversary, Post-Zayn One Direction, Songfic, infinity by one direction, nicknames galore, not very good but i was venting, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:39:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26035798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reading_nomatterwhat/pseuds/Reading_nomatterwhat
Summary: What were 1d thinking about before the flop that was their 10 year anniversary? What can they do to make it up to fans?
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, implied
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	All I every wanted was the truth-Infinity songfic

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this while listening to Infinity after the anniversary because I was sad. It's kind of like my dream of what they were all thinking before and then after that day. Also A little bit of manifesting for Liam's livestream, how I wish it would play out. Also obviously these are not accurate recreations of the members, these are more like fictional versions of them. Not meant to represent them in real life as I have no idea what they think about. Honestly I'll be surprised if anyone likes this lol.

_Down to earth Keep 'em falling when I know it hurts_

  
_T-4 days to June 23_

Louis sat in the living room, a glass in his hand and gazing out the window at nothing in particular. He took a slow sip as he was lost in thought about his life up until this point. 10 years of being in one direction...can I even say that? He put the glass down, the glass meeting wood with more force than necessary. He is still in one direction…. He is. But even he could admit that it didn’t feel like it anymore. He rubbed his palm across his face, when was the last time he texted Niall? Or Liam? He won’t say they never chat, the group chat that is full of random videos the lads think are funny but they haven’t talked in a long time. He knows they were all busy, albums to be written, interviews to be had and even babies to be taken care of, but… As he sat there with his head in his hands he realized…  
He fucking missed them

_Going faster than a million miles an hour Tryna catch my breath some way, somehow_

  
_T-3 days to June 23_

  
God he was tired, Harry thought as he collapsed into a stiff hotel room chair. All this traveling was getting to him, he shouldn’t even _be_ traveling...whatever. He pulled out his phone to check the time and his eyes shifted over to the date. _Wow...only two more days_ … He dropped his arm and looked towards the ceiling, maybe he was too exhausted and his brain was mush but he didn’t understand how 10 years could have gone so fast. He wondered if anyone was planning anything, Liam in particular always got hyped around the anniversary. He smiled slightly and closed his eyes, he missed Liam.

  
_Down to Earth It's like I'm frozen, but the world still turns_   
_Stuck in motion, and the wheels keep spinning 'round Moving in reverse with no way out_

_T- 2 days to June 23_

  
He wished he could shut the whole world out, he puts his head in his head and tries to calm his breathing. _Zayn you’re fine, you know what happened, it doesn’t matter what they thin-_ “BUT IT DOES!” he shouts out loud. He dropped his head again, he thought he was okay, that he had moved past it, he thought he wasn’t angry anymore but the anniversary.. Is it even his to celebrate anymore? Will they mention him? He doesn’t even know what he wants, to be acknowledged or too be ignored? He lifted his head to look out across the skyline, he was….so angry. He said lots of things he didn’t mean, sure 1D was never a cake walk, it was stressful, straining and strenuous. He felt wrung out and exhausted, being pushed into a box to please management and yet it was never enough for them. But he never hated them, they understood, they felt it too, for every night he couldn’t sleep, they were by his side. He didn’t fake the love and appreciation he had for them, he is not that good of an actor. Yet when he left, he felt like he had to seperate from them, to find himself, on one hand he is so glad he did, it led him to Gigi, a career and a future family, but...he also lost those 4 he once considered family. He felt a wet trail streak down his cheek and as he reached up with his hand he realized he was crying. He dropped his hand and let the tears fall….it was cathartic.

  
_And now I'm one step closer to being Two steps far from you_   
_When everybody wants you Everybody wants you_

_T-1 day to June 23_

“No I know that but……..mate, it's not just an anniversary, its 10 years!..........yeah whatever call you back” He pressed ‘End Call’ and tossed the phone on the couch across from his armchair. He groaned rubbing his face with his hand, why is this so hard?. For a brief moment he wondered if he was being overdramatic but he decided fuck no! “Its bloody 10 years Liam” he said, it deserved something more than a website and fucking-old videos in 4k but what could he do? He signed on for a solo interview that day and has been working on a tweet for a week now, but that’s just him. He knows that won’t be satisfactory for fans, shit he doesn’t even feel like it’s enough. But they’re all over the place, no one is in the same damn country and even if they were, there's a bloody schedule to worry about. He is now fully hunched over with his head on his knees in complete defeat, he just...wanted it to be special. Well he thought at least I tried right? That's all anyone can ask of me-. He stopped as he heard his phone ping from on the couch, he groaned and unfolded himself to go look at it, “I bet its fucking manegm-. He paused in shock and slowly began to smile, “well maybe we will have a fucking bash after all”.

  
_How many nights does it take to count the stars? That's the time it would take to fix my heart_

  
_Day of_

  
**You Tweet has been sent**

  
Niall leaned back, then leaned forward and used the momentum to stand up and walk towards his kitchen. _“That sounded fine?”_ he thought, _“it was heartfelt at least”_. He filled the kettle and put it to boil, tea was always a welcome distraction. To be completely honest, he did feel bad, he knew how much the fans were looking forward to today and to only give them the bare minimum seems….exploitative, but like Liam said over the phone, “it’s out of our hands for now, I mean we sure as hell didn’t make that website.” As he waits for the water to boil he thinks back to the first time a break was mentioned….

  
**“Maybe we should break up” Everyone paused, Harry was sitting with his elbows to his knees as he timidly said those 5 words. Nobody said anything for a while until Niall started laughing, he slowed down once Harry looked at him, with those eyes, those tired eyes. Still chuckling he responds “ Mate you’ve gotta be kidding me...break up? Seriously? Get real H”. Harry sighed “maybe just a hiatus, don’t you think a break would be nice?” He looks to Louis, for support maybe, but Louis isn’t responding. He just stands there, clutching a water bottle and clenching his teeth. Liam cuts in saying “But why now Harry? We haven’t even toured the new album and the fans are already upset because of..” Harry sighs again, he’s been doing that alot lately, “Aren’t you all tired? Don’t you wanna go out and do your own thing, even if only for a little while?”, with those words the other 3 visibly flinched. “..what?” Harry asks as none of them make eye contact “what am i missing here?”. “Do you think its that easy curly?” Louis retorts, his sentence sharp with anger, “Not all of us have your fame Harold”. Harry rolls his eyes “ Lou don’t start, you are all plenty popular, and you’d be amazing solo artists, don’t you want that?”.**   
**Niall shifts uncomfortably, “I think it’s less about wanting it and more about comfort H, of course I wanna write my own stuff but I also feel like we have a good thing here, I love playing with you all. Yeah the schedules rushed and i’m tired but we could just negotiate more free time and less albums… i don't know why we’d have to go on hiatus…”.**   
**“They probably wouldn’t listen” Liam adds “not unless we do something drastic just like..”**   
**“Zayn” cuts in Louis “Just like Zayn, you really wanna do that to the fans, again? They might not forgive us this time!”**   
**“Hey!” Harry says “Like I said, it doesn’t have to be forever just 18 months or something-**

  
He shakes his head and scoffs, -18 months- yeah right. He takes the kettle and pours the liquid into a cup along with the leaves and sets it on the counter to steep. Niall still doesn’t know how to feel about this whole solo thing, it’s been 5 fucking years and he still sometimes wakes up and thinks he’s on a tour bus, sometimes he still goes to ask the boys if they want a cuppa late at night only to find himself staring at his living room and not their shared quarters. He does love writing his own songs, being able to decide what he sings about and how, but he wishes he could have had that freedom within the band. He misses them, fuck he does, he still misses the writing sessions they used to have over dinner, the late movie nights, running away from body guards and tweeting dumb shite that no one cared about. He missed feeling carefree with his 4 best friends. It’s true, now he has a successful solo career, a girlfriend and fame all his own, but sometimes it all rings hollow. Sometimes he thinks he’d sacrifice all of this, if he could go back, negotiate that fucking contract, get them more breaks, more creative control, less micromanaging. He wonders what would have changed. He wonders if he wouldn’t have had to spend his time staring at the fucking stars wondering if it was ever meant to be.

_Oh, baby, I was there for you All I ever wanted was the truth, yeah, yeah_

_Day of_

….That’s it? She was staring at the screen in disbelief. Tweets in one tab and the website stuck in loading hell. She had been looking at a black screen for 20 minutes and still nothing. She closed her laptop and sat back, still not believing that...THIS is what they were doing. She honestly felt like crying, she didn’t want to be ungrateful, if the website would load she bets it would be a good time to look through and relive those five years but...it's not what anyone wanted.

  
_How many nights have you wished someone would stay? Lie awake only hoping they're okay_

  
“I’ve been here, waiting and waiting for 5 years, I love their solo work and seeing them grow as individuals and as artists but I am a one direction stan. I want one direction and I don’t think that’s too much to ask.” Not a comeback, not a tour, nothing that extreme, but a livestream? Group photos? Fucking old stories, a zoom call, unseen photos and videos, twitter Q and A, group interview, cover of older songs, ANYTHING?? She sighs and lets her mind wander to the place she never wanted to go…. What if they don't want to come back? It's not completely out of the possibility, they all seem happy and seem reluctant to come back together...She rubs her palms into her eyes, she just…..wishes they would assure her that everything is going to be okay…

  
_I never counted all of mine If I tried, I know it would feel like infinity_

  
_“Nialler, Up for it??”_  
 _“Always Lou”_  
 _“Hazza up for it?”_  
 _“I’m up for it Lou”“_  
 _Payno? Up for it?”_  
 _“Up for it Louis”_  
………………..  
“Can you call him?”

\--------------------------

“Its never gonna happen mate”  
“Why not? It’s not an announcement or a promise! It’s a gift after that shitty anniversary we gave them…”  
“You guys, not me”  
“Z, cmon you're still a part of this”  
“Y’know Liam I don’t think you understand what “leaving” means”  
“Neither do you, or do you think texting me all the time counts as “never have been friends?”  
“Li not now.”  
“You’re coming”  
“I am not, i have to be in New York”  
“Then we can call you”  
“....’  
“It can be my birthday gift”  
“....If I’m busy I’m not answering”  
“I knew you’d come around”

\----------------------------

_August 29th 2020_

  
“Hellooo paynettes!” Liam giggled as he read the exasperation of his fans at being called such a cringey name. “I'm kidding..Or am I??” He flung his head over his shoulder in a poor Harry impression but the fans ate it up. “Thank you for attending the LP Birthday Show Act 2: Electric Boogaloo! Wooooo!” He pops a small confetti popper in celebration. “So for the first hour or so I am going to sing some songs off me album and then do some requests, okay? Then a little Q and A and then…” He smiled wider “The special guest will arrive and the fun will really begin.”

\-------------------------------  
 _“Now I just wanna stay here and fall into midnight Want nobody else now, only you feel right”_  
 _“Okay okay you can stop requesting ‘Alive’ Now, I’ll sing it!”_  
 _“...why do so many of you want me to sing all star?”_  
 _“What’s Bear’s favorite color?” “I’m gonna be honest he doesn’t really give a shit”_  
 _“Shaved head or quiff?” “shaved is a lot easier to take care of but the quiff makes me look rather stylish I think”_

\--------------------------------  
When the clock hits 5 he smiles knowingly but tampers it down to not arouse suspicion. He continues to answer questions and have a laugh while not paying attention to the growing number of comments interested in the happenings behind him. A hand reaches over the couch to smack Liam on the back, a leg creeps into frame from the left, someone throws a shoe. At this point his whole comment section has been overtaken by:  
“WAS THAT A HAND??”  
“Are those CHELSEA BOOTS???”  
“Either Liam’s house is haunted or… ;)”

  
It all culminates in Niall springing from behind the couch to get Liam in a choke hold while H and L launch themselves at the couch from either direction creating a 4 member doggy pile.  
“Whatttt when did the lads get here?” He says showing off his poor acting as Niall releases him to slide next to Louis, who hits Liam over the head. Harry is smiling wide “Well we were just in the neighborhood when we heard about a special birthday boy” He drawls. “Yeah” Louis agrees “I heard it was someone's 80th birthday!” Liam continues to grin “Well since you’re here would you like to join my stream?”  
They all grin at each other, “We’d love to leeyummm”

\---------------------------------  
 _“Harry what is this about you enjoying yourself too much during No Control?” “..I have no idea what they’re talking about”_  
 _“Nialler! Any tattoo plans??” “Now you guys are just fucking with me.”_  
 _“Y’know Lou I actually have this measuring tape over here-” “Alright fuck off Payno”_  
 _“They want us to sing “What a feeling” “They remember that song?!”_  
 _“We **are** still a band, we are working together to create a timeline that lets us work on both our solo careers and the band. It will take a while to finalize but we will be back. We know we’ve been kind of shitty towards you for the past couple years and we apologize. We got really caught up in being apart. We kind of forgot how refreshing and exciting it can be to be together as a band and as friends. We can’t guarantee perfection, but we aren’t done yet.”_

\---------------------------------  
Liam sorts through questions while the other 3 talk up each other’s solo work, apparently H was very fond of Heartbreak Weather, Louis had a soft spot for Sweet Creature and Niall was the last person who wasn’t sick of Watermelon sugar yet. As Liam is enjoying the familiar banter, he gets a notification that reads, “I am available...if you are serious.” Liam lets out a big whoop and immediately starts setting up the face call. He nudges Louis and spells “ Z-A-Y-N” with his hand so he would announce it to the chat. Louis smiles as well and says “Well you guys are in for a very special treat, we didn’t know if this would pan out so we didn’t want to get your hopes up. But we have a special musical guest!” The chat goes wild with guessing and Louis continues “ They are an extremely talented artist but one I also might fight in an alleyway-”  
“Been a long time since you threatened to fight me Louis”  
Louis sent a sad smile towards the screen that Zayn’s face had appeared on.  
“Not my fault you can’t take me on”  
Zayn pauses...but also smiles “You wish”

_How many nights does it take to count the stars?_   
_That's the time it would take to fix my heart_   
_Oh, baby, I was there for you_   
_All I ever wanted was the truth, yeah, yeah_   
_How many nights have you wished someone would stay?_   
_Lay awake only hoping they're okay_   
_I never counted all of mine_   
_If I tried, I know it would feel like infinity_


End file.
